I was brought up in a Christian home and as a child I knew to pray to Jesus and to trust in him. At Easter, on the Sunday, we would celebrate in church the resurrection of Jesus’ from the dead. But today, the Saturday, the day between death and resurrection, I thought I would add a poem about my own need of God. My wrongdoings, my selfishness, my own wilfulness are the things I need God to rescue me from. Things that keep me from knowing a Holy God, but things that Christ paid the punishment for on the cross.

And I have also made mention of my apparent neurodiverse traits, because God understands how I’m wired. That doesn’t upset him, it’s my heart’s intentions and that fact that I can so easily ignore him, that does.

I have a waywardness
That I cannot restrain
Try what I will
I can call it by some name
If you like
But it needs no medical diagnosis

And though I really do
Have an honest dilemma
Keeping tidy
Keeping time
Not losing things in places too safe
This is something else

Truth is
I have a brokenness

I do not want to try
I do not wish to surrender
My own will
In order to follow Him
I cannot do it 
Apart from His help

This is why I pray

And this is why He came